Working Overnight

Couple of points today:

1.) Trish called me late tonight to express some concerns regarding Nick and me and life in general. She's worried about Nick because she says he has no friends. I countered that with the statement that Nick does indeed have friends, he just doesn't have much interest in hanging out with them. The world is a very different place today than it was when we were kids - trish and I. There is no more, "Go ahead to your frind's house. Just be back before it gets dark." These days, it's a concentrated effort to get your kid somewhere, an effort that needs to be coordinated with whatever household he or she is going to. Nick has other interests, all told. He just doesn't seem to be overly concerned with spending time outside the house.

2.) My bank charged 70 bucks for having our account overdrafted for 2 hours, the mother-fuckers. I'm almost certain we have - or at least had - overdraft protection on our primary checking account so I need to straighten this out today, after I get some sleep. It was overdrafted 18 or 19 bucks and for that we got a 70 dollar charge? Eat my fuckin' ass.

3.) That same bank, our bank, is advertising a 30 yr., fixed rate mortgage loan at 5.2%. As far as I'm concerned - that's moving into the realm of acceptability for me to refinance. I'm probably gonna wait 'til Obama gets into office, though and see whether or not he'll actually make a difference for homeowners like me instead of dumping all the bail-out money into the corporations that lost it all to begin with. Reduce the interest rate. Let me keep paying my bills, including my mortgage, and let me do it at a better rate.

4.) I started putting together a photo album for Christmas. And i just put Bon Jovi's New Jersey album in for some audio fun.

Ok. That said, here's the question for the night.

What is something you do well?

I'd have to say my job. I'm not patting myself on the back, not really anyway - but when push comes to shove, I'm fairly decent at doing my job. Feedback to this end remains fairly consistant from all I work with - attendings, residents, fellow nurses, PCA's and E.D. nurses. Plus, I think the CNS's and even Maryfran agree to some extent.

Maryfran once said I was one of her best nurses. That was several years ago but I still remember it. It was one of those bittersweet snapshots in time where I was both very flattered and simultaneously self-effacing in terms of my inferior complex, believing her words to be false, serving some purpose I couldn't figure out to mock or belittle me. I can never figure out such a purpose when self-doubt like that flares up but that doesn't stop me from thinking it. Anyway, yeah.

I do my job well.

Empathy, maintenance of a safe unit, a secure unit, calling bullshit where bullshit needs to be called, teaching those who seek to learn and paying attention to lessons brought to me that have a legitimate point to them. I'm not intimidated - or rather, when I actually am intimidated, I'm able to temper it with an assertive mode of operation that is as non-confrontational as whatever personality is being directed toward me.

As I'm fond of saying - It's a free country and as such, anyone is free to take whatever potshots at me they feel are necessary and I'm free to respiond in kind. I've been punched, kicked, spit on, slapped, verbally abused, had knives and gun pulled on me and was able to resume control of the situation after each and every instance.

I've hit the floor many times but I have yet to lose.

So there you go.

I keep thinking I should take Nick to the Y today to practice his basketball. His coach gave him a paper with a practice move. And he needs to practice shooting baskets as well as feeling comfortable moving in to take the ball away from other kids instead of just letting it go. I really think it would be helpful for him.